ICanHasCheezburger Community Share The Silliest And Most Absurd Rules That Their Cats Have Imposed On Their Households

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    Font - Colette Brysting Hansen The landing and upstairs hall are disputed territory and feline jousting tournaments are encouraged especially at 3 in the morning. Mum must be accompanied at all times, especially to the loo. Hooman food servings must always be inspected first for meat content, and, if found, must be paid as tribute. Bedside tables are declared toy boxes; Place items at your own risk as we will not be held responsible for any loss, theft, or damage. Like Reply Hide Send Message 1d
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    Rectangle - Marion Roy Cats eat first, then the dog, human/servant last. 5 Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d
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    Font - Top fan Heather Hendricks-Thurber Double treats. She used to get treats right before bed but then she'd look sad so my husband gave her second treats. She now throws a fit if she doesn't get double treats. Like Reply Hide Send Message 22h
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    Product - Devin Nacole She hated closed doors. They were not allowed. We compromised and I installed a cat door on my bedroom door Like Reply Hide Send Message 1d Edited D4
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    Font - Top fan Lisa Groom The entire front room of the house is for them. Couches. Chairs. Their dining area is there too. When we walk in there, we get stink eye. Unless we have foods. Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d D4
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    Cat - Melanie Goody Weekend bacon is ALWAYS to be shared!! Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d 23
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    Font - Carol Morris "Naps are mandatory, so is canned cat food for a bedtime snack. I eat whenever I want. Bedtime is at 10, I sleep on the pillow, or at least between you, and someone has to hold my paw when I sleep. My fish is the blue one If the door's open, I will try to bolt, if there's a thunderstorm, your lap better be empty." Tommy Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d Edited
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    Font - Diana Grace Bush I must allow her to sit on my lap at all times. When I eat, sleep and use the bathroom. She will be my official taste tester of any and all foods I eat. She will ywll at me if i stop petting her. And if im sad or crying, she muat lick my tears from my face. DO 3 Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d
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    Font - Cheryl Harrison I must put the blanket on my lap for the babies to cuddle. Bedtime is when they decide. Bath water is put in hands for Jinx to drink and approve the temp. I must pick up the Jinx and hug him when he yells. I must also rub the Jinx belly at all times when belly is shown. I must never stop rubbing the belly. I must also hold steady eye contact with Jinx during the belly rubs. I must hold tails and tug gently in the air or I will be yelled at (they seem to love it for some re
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    Rectangle - Terri Ralph-DeJesus I must have two litter boxes two yards apart. One for poops, the other for pee. Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d LO 5
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    Font - Rachael Wadsworth The loo door must always be open. If it is closed I need to be inside the bathroom with the human. If I am inside the bathroom with the human I need to be outside the closed door. The humans must be rounded up for bed by 9:30pm. 8pm is occasionally acceptable. When the humans are finally in bed and about to fall asleep, we must loudly sing the song of our people (the one about unacceptably going to bed after 9:30pm every night). One kitty must guard the humans from the b
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    Eyelash - Grace Terranova Max needs to be tucked in for his naps. If he cannot do it himself he starts making noise until someone shows up to tuck him in. Max is a purrito. Like Reply Hide Send Message 1d 3
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    Font - Meg Sherwood The elder statesman must have his kibble in very specific, strategic locations (depending on where we are in the house): on the bed between my husband and me next to the pillows, the floor at the corner of my desk, or on the floor at my side of the couch. He's a trim fellow who knows when to stop eating...unlike his 2 gluttonous brothers who wail in dispair at any given moment. The youngest gets hangry about an hour before their dinner time. Like Reply Hide Send Message 1d
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    Rectangle - Top fan Donna Seeley Since I went fully WFH in 2020, I get screamed at to take an afternoon nap. She may or may not want snuggles during the nap. Like Reply Hide Send Message 13h
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    Font - Betsy Rall Potthast 1. Breakfast at 6:00 or the nightstand will be cleared. 2. Treats every time the kitchen is entered. 3. Mild cat exercise each morning. Human rolls balls within cat reach. 4. Exercise followed by cat massage on human lap. 5. Dinner at 5:00. First entree served will be ignored. Second entree must be human food (chicken or tuna preferred). First entree will be consumed during the night. Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d 3
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    Rectangle - Adele Stirpe He can lay on whatever blanket of mine he pleases.... And if I wash them and set them aside for my use he gets upset and won't sit near me until I set a blanket out for him Like Reply Hide Send Message 1d
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    Font - Top fan Allison Faith Kelly 1. If I get ice, I must give one cube to the cat to play with. 2. If it's bed time, at least one has to sleep in the room with us or they will sing all throughout the night. 3. If all three cats are sitting and staring at you, it's time to feed them. Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d
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    Rectangle - Valerie Anderson Gaskill I don't like the other two, so I'll live in the upstairs room full of odd furniture and boxes, which you will fill with food, my tray, cat beds and luxuries. Leave the window open, Thanks, Peg. Like Reply Hide Send Message 1d
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    Rectangle - Top fan Fiona-Lynne Schofield Mine set the usual cat rule: "If I sit on it, it's mine" Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d Edited 12
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    Rectangle - Kristen Marihugh Meals are 5:30am and 5:30pm. If you're on time you're late and if you're late you're fired. To be fair I have a diabetic cat so he gets insulin and food every 12 hours. Since I can't leave food out the other 2 have the same food schedule. They yell at me until I feed them. Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d ...
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    Rectangle - Laeeka Khan There is no my can of tuna, it's always ours. (Peer pressure from 3 cats). Also, if I pick up a paper plate that is an immediate trigger for snack time. Like Reply Hide Send Message 1d
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    Font - Joan Pedersen Tiffany eats Kleenex, toilet paper, dryer sheets & any other paper product she can find. Then throws it up on a carpet. She has taught me to keep Kleenex deep in the box & t.p. in a bathroom drawer, used dryer sheets in the garbage!!! Paper is not safe in my house!!! Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d
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    Font - Michael Garvin My first cat basically insisted I have no cables visible, lest he chew on them until he found out if he really had 9 lives or not. Seriously. My whole TV setup and computer setup involved cords all confined within cardboard blockers I put up. My rear speakers were wired by installing the speaker cord on the ceiling in my apartments. Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d 13
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    Rectangle - Tracy Lewis Fancy Feast is just that. Just because I fancy one flavor feast today doesn't mean I'll fancy it tomorrow. Provide said feast accordingly. -Mary Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d 54
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    Font - Bern DeGonzague I must play red dot every night at approx 11pm. I must pet him and.scratch him all over before he eats. I should follow him outside on the deck at least for a few minutes whenever he goes out. I must etc him inspect a small bite if my meal every night. If he looks at the floor then I should put a morsel down for him to decide if he likes it. He rarely does. But the most important rule is he must have a churu tube as soon as I sit down with my morning coffee. He allows me t
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    Font - Kathleen Dawnkey Byram Petra must be allowed to enter the walk in closet and go exploring. No effort to squelch this will be tolerated. She must be closed in for at least five minutes before she will allow herself to be coaxed out. Like Reply Hide Send Message 2d 7

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